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Posts tagged with "comedy"

Aug 2
Random thoughts during an orchestra performance

Random thoughts during an orchestra performance

Orchestra Joke

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said.

“Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?”

“This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.”

“And the other?” said the customer.

“This one can sing Wagner’s entire Ring cycle. There’s another one in the back room for $30,000.”

“Holy moly! What does that one do?”

“I can’t tell, but the other two parrots call him ‘Maestro’.”

Orchestra Joke

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, “While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned your house down.”

The violist replied, “you’re kidding!! The conductor came to my house?”

When I see the audition results

orchestrahumor:

Does this jacket make my butt look big?

Does this jacket make my butt look big?

Financial Crisis in an orchestra’s board room!

Financial Crisis in an orchestra’s board room!

Orchestra joke

 A new conductor was at his first rehearsal. It was not going well. He was wary of the musicians as they were of him. As he left the rehearsal room, the timpanist sounded a rude little “bong.”

The angry conductor turned and said, “All right! Who did that?”

Jul 4

NYC Phoneharmonic | cdza (by collectivecadenza)